We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
