..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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