ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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