eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
