I didn't shave. On purpose
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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