At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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