Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you

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(801): View more from Utah

let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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(214): View more from Texas

Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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(219): View more from Indiana

He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress

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(678): View more from Georgia

You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.

(404): View more from Georgia

I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins

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(910): View more from North Carolina

then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.

(910): View more from North Carolina

it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.

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