Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
