yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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