just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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