dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
only you would photoshop your dick
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
