you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize