I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
