I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize