i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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