my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm passing your future prison.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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