Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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