You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
