another moral hangover. fuck.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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