my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
