It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
