You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
