Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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