im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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