I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Found the puke drawer
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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