i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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