12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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