Rock
Scissors
Fuck
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
