I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
