I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
