He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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