cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize