i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
