come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
