we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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