your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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