We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
honey bunches of taint.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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