And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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