Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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