yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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