i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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