Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
