I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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