Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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