I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize