I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
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I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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