Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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