i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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