ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
