I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize