Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
