so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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