How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
