you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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