Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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